QotD: Jack the Observer Effect

  • I was single for years.  Decades, actually. I was able to design my life very specifically.  I knew myself.  I knew it takes a while to shape a particular portion of my life to an acceptable mode.  

    I must first decide to do something. (I will eat clean.)  Then, I will actually start doing it. (Buy the food, portion the food, take the food to work. This could be several weeks after the first step, but I must make that first step.)  I need to forget I am doing it until it is simply second nature.  (I forget about food.  I eat to live.  Only.)  It is a daily habit, which makes me internally happy: eventually.

    I started dating my partner, Jack, about three years ago.  We have been living together for about a year and a half.  I am in denial that his intrusion into my world does not influence my formula for change.  

    I have recently realized...it does.  

    His very presence throws the balance of my desires out of whack.  I wish to eat clean.  He does not stop me.  His presence simply makes it...more complicated.  I cannot tell him I have made the decision to eat clean.  I will not do the next step if I tell anyone about it.  It is a proven fact: a person is less likely to accomplish a goal if it is divulged to anyone else.*

    I wish to exercise.  However, I do not want him to know about it until it gets to the second nature juncture.  He would not actively stop me; in fact, he would support me.  Nevertheless, his knowledge of it, well, it changes the experiment.  

    That is it.  I am the great experimenter of my own life.  In addition, he is the observer that changes the nature of the experiment.  He is my own personal observer effect. I must find a way to experiment in spite of him. That is the challenge.  Since I love him, I guess I must accept that challenge.




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